I’ve wanted to write you a thousand times. I’ve been writing a ton for you, actually, but haven’t yet shared.
After writing, “Who Can Hold Me?” I think I went into hibernation. Or was it into hiding? Or was it just a divine and holy delay? Because it wasn’t until today that I knew exactly what to say.
Long before sharing that poem, when I listened to “Who can hold me?” in the quiet place, a friend who had NO idea sent me this song…
Hold Her Tonight.
I’d never heard it before that!
Our God is so intimately, wonderfully attentive!
The first song gave my spirit freedom to ask the vulnerable question, “Who can hold me?” The second sung the answer over my spirit. Art is conversation. One calls out; the other answers.
Since that time, I’ve heard several songs about holding me.
And since that time, I’ve been held. Deep and profound holding. Ways I have actually never been held before. What grace that I can say that!
Coming back to visit our Omaha has been rich with holdings. We get held left and right. It’s possibly all we’ve needed from our brothers and sisters.
After waves of being held all morning, we went to visit Dr. Schrag. I told her all about everything. Everything that sucks and all the grace and provision. The people who betrayed me. The brave people who are stepping into our distress unafraid to befriend us and love us in the storm, without even knowing us before the storm. Then I told her some of the most heartbreaking things, and we both just broke down weeping.
She cradled my head into her arms, and held me as we sobbed. Then she drew me even closer and whispered, “This is what He says. This is what He says… Do you remember the way Dan held you? Do you remember how it made everything right?”
Yes. Deeply yes.
And she continued in a hush, “That’s how Jesus is holding you… And the way Daddy held your daughters, that’s how Jesus is holding them too.”
And we wept some more.
I knew asking, “Who can hold me?” was brave. I knew the church answer too. But Jesus let the church be the answer to that question. He let the Body of Christ hold me. And then, He let the Body of Christ point back to Him because He’s the God Who Holds Me. That’s who He is. He holds my whole world in His hands. And He holds my whole heart. And He holds it carefully. He’s the God Who Holds Me. And my dear friend, that’s who He is for you too.
When you cry out, “Who can hold me?” the God of the Ages will answer. And He will come and He will be the God Who Holds You. That’s who He is. And when He comes to hold you, He makes everything right. He makes everything ok. It’s the Peace of His Presence. I want that for you today, my dear and beloved friend. May He be for you today the God Who Holds You.
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Pretty much all I write is laced in prayer, surrender, redemption, and intimate friendship with God. But sometimes, you'll just get utter cheese-ball.
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love, danita jenae