If you’re struggling with betrayal, you’re not alone.
Increasingly, it seems many are quick to make verbal promises and covenants, and many are just as quick to back out of those promises, ghost those they’ve committed to, and not follow through. If you’ve already been through a season of heartbreak or crises or loss, this feels like added salt to the wound.
Between divorce, dating, job situations, people who have stolen your work ideas… I hear from people suffering from betrayals on a constant basis. I have suffered many of these myself.
So how do you move on without growing bitter?
How do you move forward and not get stuck in the past?
What is one practical way you can respond when someone betrays you?
After recently experiencing the agony of betrayal, the first and only action step the Holy Spirit gave me was this…
“Write a thank you note.”
People involved wanted to write a more threatening, angry note on my behalf, pointing out the lack of empathy, the lace of cruelty, the recklessness.
Yet, the Lord, in my crushing and broken places, whispered:
“Write a thank you note.”
And so I did.
You may hate that idea. Everything in you might be revolting at the thought.
But I do not want ANYTHING to leave you and me in bitterness. Unforgiveness will only steal from you. It will steal from the good future plans God has for you.
When you do not forgive someone, you are giving your past authority to steal from your future.
Let’s remember what Jesus did and follow suit…
On the night when he was betrayed, the Lord Jesus took some bread, and gave thanks to God for it.
1 Corinthians 11:23-26 New Living Translation
Yes. He gave thanks. Jesus broke bread, He gave thanks, He offered all of himself through offering communion… even to his betrayers.
The Absurd Power of Giving Thanks
Only the grace of God can empower us to love like that. To take rejection and betrayal and respond with thanksgiving.
So I challenge you to try. Try the narrow path. Brave the higher road.
You don’t have to deliver your thank you note to your betrayer. It may not be wise to do so in your situation. But still write it. Give thanks to God and offer Him all of yourself, just like Jesus did the night He was betrayed.
- Thank God for everything He taught you through that relationship.
- Thank God for everything He revealed about your own self through that relationship.
- Thank God for what was good, because even if laced in deceit or emotional abuse or manipulation… was there ever anything good you can thank God for?
- Thank God for rescuing you if you really did need out of that relationship.