When we jump into the deep end and trust that our Daddy will catch us…
That’s what it looks like when you take your first radio interview ever as a ONE-HOUR LIVE with a nationally acclaimed spit-fire of a host. Ms. Janet Parshall is an amazing and prayerful woman. And I always love a child of God with fire in the belly! She shares how she’s walked through her own losses as well. A beautiful conversation.
Here’s the interview: Enjoy!
When it’s sink or swim…
that’s how we learn the fastest. Thankfully, I think I am learning to swim(?).
As we discussed yesterday, in Three Ways to Cope When Regret Comes Knocking, sometimes you have to go back to move forward. So join me in some reflection today and learn alongside me. You may or may not find yourself live on the radio discussing a story full of trauma. However, this still applies to you. Later this week, we’re going to dive into HOW, WHEN, and WHO to talk to about your trauma/grief story. But today, I just want to share a few things I learned from looking back for when I move forward. After prayer and pondering, here’s what I’d say if given the chance to do it again.
When writing a book, I’ve had months to pray over and decide what details to share and what not to share. I opted to not share much at all about my story. No graphic details. Only saying that there was trauma, but never explaining the how and what. And that was for both my protection and for the protection of my readers (which we’ll dive into later this week for how to share your own story Who to Talk to About Your Grief/Trauma Story, How to Talk about Your Trauma/Loss/Grief Story
When speaking on the air LIVE for the first time, you don’t have months to edit out your traumatic details. I’m so grateful we prayed over the interview and asked God to lead the conversation. Because He did.
A Written Do-Over
Q: How many years has it been since your husband died?
A: It’s not been that long. But here’s the thing about grief. In many ways, it feels like a thousand years ago and in other ways, it feels like yesterday. “In grief, there are no timelines,” which is actually one of the very first reorienting teachings I include in my free Grief Guide. We are all on our own timelines with grief, and so it’s difficult when we talk about grief in terms of years, months, and days. Grief is beyond time, but thankfully, it will not live on in eternity. The days of our sorrow will be ended, as promised in the Word of God.
Practice Makes Progress
Bam. I just popped that out without overthinking it. I wish I could talk the way I write. I wish that was my answer on air. Because the last thing I want is for people to compare one person’s grief “timeline” with their own. We all heal in different ways at different rates, and it’s only hurtful to all parties involved to compare hours, days, months, and years. Grief truly has no timelines.
As I think through what I would’ve said differently, I hear Mr. Miyagi, beckoning me, “Come back tomorrow.”
I was only able to write answers so quickly though after processing in an even deeper what WHO to talk about our stories with and HOW to talk about our grief/trauma stories and putting into practice Three Ways to Cope When Regret Comes Knocking. Which you’ll learn more about in the coming series on the blog. So that’s proof right there that when we put this all into practice and take it to heart, we really will know how to speak into traumatic and grief-heavy stories with light and grace and healing.
Come Back Tomorrow
We’re going to dive in deeper this week on why to share our stories, but the grace to know when and how. This is honestly pure gold my friends. I’m torn with if it goes in my next book, God willing I have one, or if I share it now. I’m opting for NOW because our days are numbered and this is so mission-critical. Come back tomorrow?
May the Lord fill your mouth when you open it (Psalm 81). May you speak with mercy and truth. May your tongue be led by Wisdom’s Gentleness (James 3:13).
“Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom.” James 3:12 NASB
If this helped you find words to process your grief better, then I have much more for you, my friend. Grab my newest release When Mountains Crumble for you and a loved one today.
What Readers Are Saying:
“As a recent widow and still very fresh in my grief, this beautiful balm of a book is so soothing. to my sad and hurting heart. Danita’s writing is filled with a raw honesty – the kind that makes you nod your head without realizing it – and she blends in wisdom with a touch of humor that is so badly needed when in the midst of grief.”— Tricia Marchand, young widow and mom of two