I cry a little louder now

by Danita Jenae 2016

because I don’t want to wake you

I don’t want to be alone

I’m not ok

I hunger but nothing comforts

I drink jars of water

but feel hollow as straw

I rest exhausted in the dark and quiet

but rest evades me

I walk into a room and don’t remember why I’m there

even my blood doesn’t want to be here

touch me anywhere

and I am painfully sore

I am a grateful woman

I have a joyful life

so why do I weep and slump like a willow?

I pray for healing

I know there’s hope

but I feel death leaking in

I am beautiful

I am redeemed

so why do I feel like Jekyll and Hyde?

I cry a little louder now

because I don’t want to wake you

can’t you hear me?

I am not ok.