How Can I Help My Grieving Friend??
I’ve been emailing with a friend, Dr. Sarah Philpott. She’s the author of Loved Baby, which is a beautiful resource for moms who have lost a child in pregnancy.
She wrote me this week with a powerful question that I’ve been receiving from a lot of people recently. So I asked her permission to share our Q and A here with you:
It’s gut-wrenching how much loss keeps happening right now.
If you are also asking the question, “How can I help?” then I want to thank you for asking.
My gut response is to remind you that the ministry of just your presence in her life cannot be underestimated.
Practical Ways You Can Help:
- First, get on your knees. Our church puts it this way, “Prayer is always the first thing we do, but it is not the only thing we do.”
- Second, get practical. Ask God how to help her practically and then tell her you’d like to do whatever specific thing God gives you and ask her permission to do so. Everyone needs different things… some need space, some need company. And it changes daily.
- Remind her she’s not alone. Just sending her texts that remind her you love her, prayers, and let her know that she has no obligation to respond to you. Just keep pouring it in. She likely has no bandwidth to even know what she needs and she won’t for a few months, and that’s when people usually stop asking.
- Remember important days. Plug the day he died in your calendar, and every year, make sure she knows she’s not alone on that day. Even ten years out. Ask God how you can show her that she’s loved on these difficult days. You may also want to ask her when is his birthday and their wedding anniversary. These are other difficult milestones on the calendar that are outside of regular holidays.
If you want way more support on how to help her, grab a copy of my new book for you and your friend today. Because if you order before March 1, you’ll get a free bonus: How to Help Your Grieving Friend: The Companion’s Guide.
Tomorrow, I’ll share answers to her follow up question: What resources can I send my friend?
Father, You are our Comforter. Many people I know and love are grieving. I lift them to you by name and ask you to wrap your arms around them. Give them hope and courage and comfort and peace. And show me what I can do to support them. In Jesus’s name, amen
Because Sarah has already read and endorsed my book, I thought I’d share with you what she said here too…
“Dear one, are you going through grief? Has something tragic transpired to one you love and adore? Get this book. Now. Don’t wait. Danita has woven a beautiful tapestry of comfort, gentle direction, and knowledgeable advice that will be your faithful companion on this journey of mourning. When Mountains Crumble: Rebuilding Your Life After Losing Someone You Love is a magnificent book of hope, healing, and realness.”-Sarah Philpott, award-winning author of Loved Baby: 31 Devotions Helping You Grieve and Cherish Your Child After Pregnancy Loss
What is the name of the one you know who is grieving?
Just drop their first name in a comment below. I’ll pray for them by name, and I ask you to pray for a few of the names listed in the comments too. I’ll go first.