Dancing Through Heartbreak #1940s Ball

Dancing Away Trauma

In my mind’s eye, the 1940s are a picture of joy in sorrow, of working together for a common good, of sacrifice for freedom. Even with all the devastation and destruction, the memories that remain strongest from that war-torn period in time are of kissing and dancing and celebration. Joy in sorrow.

In fact, I discussed this with a counselor who specialized in trauma and neuropathways. So happens that he did his thesis on how the swing dancing of the 40s helped that generation recover and heal from their individual and collective traumas. Even just repetitive motions like bouncing a ball can help unlock some of that healing. How much more healing is added with you add the community, the social and emotional aspect!

Let’s make America dance again!

Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

But in all sincerity, I’ve never known anything like singing and dancing to chase the blues away. Lord knows our country needs that right about now.

Dancing Away the Blues

Speaking of the blues… This year, “Blue Christmas” by Elvis Presley has risen to the top of my charts.

• Because the lyrics are perfect for a girl dealing with heartbreak this Christmas.
• Because when we busted out the Christmas Karaoke at Thanksgiving, my brother killed it with his Elvis impersonation and I got to be the back up singer, “Bluuuu-uuu-uuuuue.”
• Because I got to dance to that song with Jeffrey and Nick and Sarah at the 1940s Ball.
• Because, unless my guy shows up miraculously soon, “I’ll have a blue blue blue blue Christmas” without you. 😉 Ok, ok. We all know that I’ll still be laughing and just fine, and at times a little misty eyed, but it’d sure be a lot sweeter to share with someone special.

“Blue Christmas” lets us both commiserate and somehow feel comfort and a wildly unexpected sense of celebration for the season even so.

Dancing Away Stress

When I am drowning in stress and sorrow, dancing is a surge of joy through my bones!

Dancing gives us an escape from our own overthinking and concerns of the day. The only thing comparable is praise and worship.

Both praise and dancing remove our feet from the heaviness of the earth and set us in the heavenlies.

Try it sometime!

A bright spot in my short and dark winter days has been dance. I’m learning West Coast Swing. It’s so good for my heart because it’s reminiscent of the Lindy and East Coast that Dan and I did together. But it’s so refreshingly different that I can embrace it without any comparison to what it was like to dance with my beloved.

The fella I’ve been taking classes with has a familiar jeux de vive, cheeseball, and finesse all rolled into one. Such a gift from God.

Dancing Feet in Heaven

When Dan died, I tried to explain how I was operating in two different realms, both down here and up there. Maybe that’s part of the 2 becoming one… when your other half is now in heaven. It felt like I had one foot on earth and the other in heaven, straddling the two spheres was painful but I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

I knew I needed to dance again someday for my own sake. But I also knew it would take me a while to be able to brave a dance floor again. Over the last several years, I’ve progressed from getting myself to a dance hall and happily watching from the sidelines, to line dancing, to couples dancing. And now I feel closer to myself again than I have in a very long time. Dan will always be near on the dance floor, but I’m also to a place where I’m comfortable in my own skin to go twirling without him by my side. These are things widows process continually and don’t expect many to understand. And that’s ok with me.

Take the First Step

So if your heart feels heavy, and if you’re too raw in your grief to go dancing yourself, maybe take that first step by just asking a friend to go with you and watch from the sidelines. Even watching is so good for the soul.

Below is a fun video montage by Lucy and Desi. So you can practice the joy of watching from the sidelines right now in your pajamas at home on your phone! 😉 We didn’t get clips of us dancing together… but they did! What a fun surprise! Enjoy.

And comfort and joy to you and yours this Christmas.

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A post shared by Mikey Hellcat Martínez Garcia (@mikeyhellcatmartiness)