I’m pretty darn sure that nothing brings out more insecurities than becoming a parent. There’s a fear of failure in mothering. We have this sudden heightened awareness of our insufficiency. And suddenly its plain to all that we fall short.Mom told me 2 things when I was pregnant with my firstborn that I will never forget:
- Children are resilient, and
- When your guts are talking, that’s the Holy Spirit. So listen up!
I can’t tell you how many times these words have come to my rescue—to comfort me and to propel me. They’ve become a big part of how I mother.
Children are resilient.
Let’s face it. We are going to fail our children. So will life circumstances. They will have to wade through some junk in life. Yes, it feels even worse when we are to blame for it. And still, children are resilient.
Children are resilient when they have to move. When they have to live out of boxes and live in chaos. When there is no stability. When saying goodbye to loved friends and community. Somehow, children still live in the moment.
Children are resilient when we realize we’ve been leading poorly by our example. By our bad attitudes, ungrateful hearts, speaking fearfully. Children are like little mirrors of us, for better and for worse. That’s the beauty of apologizing to our kids. It sets you up as a mom to receive so much grace when you are not trying to hide your failures or fake perfection. And likewise, it helps them learn humility and apologies themselves when they fall short. Children are quick to forgive.
Children are resilient when there is death in the family. Children understand it is okay to grieve.
Children are resilient through years of being over-tired, over-stimulated, night terrors, nightmares, and bed-wetting. Children are ever trusting.
Children are resilient when they lose mommy to depression or cancer or months of pregnancy, or maybe worse, to her cell phone. Children are ever hopeful.
Children are resilient.
Why do I know this is true?
Because I know you. And actually, because I know your mom too. You are a powerful, beautiful, able woman of God. And so was your mom. I know because, somehow, you turned out to be an incredible woman—despite your parents’ shortcomings and your childhood. Despite the hell you fought through. Despite the storms you survived. For some of you, despite losing your mom. And still, somehow, you grew up into a loving, nurturing woman.
How do I know this is true?
Because I know the Lord. And because I know His grace. Because I know His kindness for you. I know He is gracious to you. He remembers we are made of dust. I know He is faithful to you. I know His goodness. And with a comforting sigh, how I know His sweetness towards His children! Because I know He delights in the work of Redemption.
The years lost to depression. The time stolen by poor health. The circumstances (and hormones!) that stole from my relationship with my girls… He has redeemed it all before, and so I know He will do it again now.
My Redeemer lives. And He created in the human spirit a reflection of His own always steadfast, always hoping, always trusting, always persevering, always loving and never failing Spirit—He put in each of us the gift of resiliency.
So, yes, you will probably fail your kids. Your mom probably failed you (even though she is awesome!). And in that, we can rest. As God has shown us grace, we extend that grace to our mothers before us and to our children clinging to our knees. All of us have fallen short of that beauty and glory of God.
Whew! That is a relief to me as a mom. And it helps me come to the Everlasting Father. And it helps me remember to ask Him to redeem my children and my mistakes and my own heart and pain and past.
I love you dear friends.
God, I thank you for each person reading this today. I thank you that you know their stories and pain. I thank you that your grace is enough. Please show your grace in a tangible way to the mom, the daughter, the husband, the father, the child, the person reading this today. Pour out your blessings and grace and redemption on them today.
Now will you join me in a prayer for your Redemption?
We thank you that you are Redeemer! We thank you that you can take any grievous situation and you can work it together for our good! You promise deliverance to your children. You promise to rescue us because you delight in us.
Father, today there are some situations on my mind. I’ve been through some things lately that have wounded me. For the bitterness that took root, I ask you to forgive me. And there are some things I have done that have hurt my children and my spouse. For the ways I hurt them, I ask you to forgive me.
I come to you with these specific situations: ________, _______, and ________. And I’m asking you to redeem what was lost. Redeem what was stolen. I thank you in advance because I know you will. Thank you God. As I release these things to you, please increase that childlike trust in my heart toward you.
I love you Lord.
In Jesus’ sweet and holy Name, Amen.